well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
