I showed him my bush... on skype.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
