i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
