Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
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