i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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