Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(818): View more from California

to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special

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(631): View more from New York

what you doin?

(516): View more from New York

I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?

(631): View more from New York

reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life

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(757): View more from Virginia

I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(915): View more from Texas

Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.

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(440): View more from Ohio

i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms

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(705): View more from Ontario

Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(

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(224): View more from Illinois

Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷

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(732): View more from New Jersey

You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.

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