Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Randomize
Follow @tfln