Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.