And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.