but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
