You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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