The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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