I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
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