can we get nightvision for the apartment?
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
