I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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