sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Randomize
