oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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