bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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