Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Randomize
