I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
