Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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