Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
