I could have mohawked her pubes.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
