clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
It's never too late to be topless.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Randomize
