Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
