Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
