Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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