"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize