and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize