yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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