Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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