oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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