i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
