Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize