theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
