Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
