So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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