He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
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just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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