i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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