i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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