so that wasnt chicken after all
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize