she kept yelling 'call me bella'
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
