Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Your cock deserves a montage
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize