the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
