Banned from zoo.
Again?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
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