I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
