There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize