I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
