you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Randomize
