Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
