I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
