I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
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if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
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Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*