She's JV to your varsity
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
