our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Randomize
