Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
