You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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