Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Randomize
