Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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