umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
