Where did you get a picture of my penis
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
