you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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