If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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