Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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