Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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