i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
