So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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