Betty ford says i'm here all night
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I came so hard my ears popped.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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