There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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