Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
